Whew, it is friggin hot. It's supposed to hit 98 degress F today. Of course you and I know what's causing all of this heat. You've got it. GLOBAL WARMING! I've got proof because it's hotter today than it was yesterday at this time. The record for this date is 99 degress F from back in 1985. But I don't worry about that because we had Global Cooling back then. GLOBAL WARMING has to be the reason it's so hot today because CBS, NBC, ABC and Al Freakin Gore are telling me so. It just upsets me to no end (ticks me off in southern talk) everytime I see a big SUV. I just know in my heart that there's a polar bear dying for no reason somewhere because all the ice at the North Pole is melting. Personally, I think we should be very careful because when all of that ice melts those polar bears that are left are going to have to go somewhere and they might be coming here. Thank goodness I have a bunch of guns. They might come in handy when one of those polar bears shows up here in the south and trys to eat me. I had better be careful though, the polar bears might be treated as illegal aliens, immigrants or whatever politically correct term is being used and given all of the rights I have as a full fledged, card carrying citizen of the United States.
As you know, I was born, raised and still live in the South (By the Grace of God). Right now it's June 2008. Stupid me. I always thought it was supposed to be hot in June. Growing up we would go to the beach in June. I didn't realize how cold it was back then. Thinking back, that's the reason I would shiver while laying out in the sun and swimming in the water. Again, stupid me. I thought the shiver that ran up my spine was because some hot looking, tan, healthy lunged, southern high school girl was struttin' up the beach in a skimpy bikini.
We're told that GLOBAL WARMING is caused by us using too much energy which is creating carbon dioxide. Adjusting to the life we'll have to live to get rid of all this cabon dioxide is going to be tough. We'll have to go back to the natural way of living. We'll take baths once a week and use the same water for the whole family. Don't forget! Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Women, of course, will have to stop shaving their armpits and legs. Men will have to grow beards. I wonder how much carbon dioxide we can eliminate by getting rid of all the razors, blades, and shaving cream? I CAN'T DO IT!!! I'm really sorry. I like my wife's smooth legs and I like not seeing a birds nest under her arm. If I wanted to see hairy women, I'd move to Southern France.
The GLOBAL WARMING movement is going to have to do without me. I guess if you have to put me into a category, I would fall into that group of people that cling to religion and guns as catagorized by presidential candidate BRAHMA OBACH.
Below is another one of my favorite quotes.
Stonewall Jackson
"Never take counsel of your fears."
Have a Great Week!!!
Southern Boy Sense
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Sorry to say Southern boy. But Global warning is just that a "warning", in many american eyes. Just like 911, we had all the warnings of terrorist. No one heeded till it was too late. That's what it's going to take for Global warming....so you are correct. Get out the guns cause the polar bears are a comin.....
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